When you’re half of a couple, you both have the responsibility for keeping the relationship a fun, healthy and happy one. 

However, many couples keep financial skeletons in their closet. Issues around money shame and secrecy can cause problems in the relationship.  Not being honest about what’s in your wallet, hiding student loan and credit card debt, poor budgeting, avoiding talking about money, and not communicating your values about money are just a few of the things many try to keep the closet door shut against.

Keeping money secrets in the dark doesn’t make them go away. While bringing them into the light may be a risk, the payoff can be very beneficial to your relationship - as well as your financial future together.

Financial intimacy exposes the naked truth

Financial intimacy is not just about how much money you make or how much debt you have – but also how you work together to plan a budget and handle each other's finances. This is vital in any relationship. 

It’s no secret that finances can be a major source of tension in a relationship. This is especially true when one partner has more financial responsibility than the other. It’s important that you work together to find ways to manage your money and keep stress levels down.  

Many couples don't talk about money, but that can lead to misunderstandings and resentment. The result is usually less intimacy, less communication, and eventually bad feelings on both sides. Instead of keeping your financial skeletons in the closet, check out these ideas to begin a discussion with your partner.

Stripping away the mysteries of money

• MAKE IT FUN WITH A MONEY DATE: Planning a regular money date with your partner could help you bring up any rough patches or issues without being too much of an emotional trigger.  Here’s some money date ideas; plan a game night, share money memories, create a joint bucket list, cook and chat, check out old photos - a stroll down memory lane etc. 
   
• SHARE YOUR INCOME AND MONEY VALUES: Be honest about what’s in your wallet; tell your partner how much you earn and discuss your values around money, especially if this is the first time, you’re doing it. It might make your wallet lighter—but richer in other ways. 
   
• UNLOAD THE BAGGAGE: Bring up any baggage left over from past relationships, address any debt you have (including shared debt), and talk about how you can start budgeting together so that everyone can feel like they have enough to live on and are not in physical danger of not being able to pay their bills. If you don't, it'll just increase over time, and things will get more complicated as you two grow closer together. 

There's no doubt about it; financial planning is important. And that includes making sure that you share your finances with your partner in a timely fashion. Plus, it’s never too late to bring up money as a conversation topic. Even if you have been living together for years, money issues can still crop up. Don’t let disagreements over money drive a wedge between you and your partner – instead, talk it out and make plans for the future. 

Dressing up your financial future

Adviceworks from TreeceFi is a safe and secure financial and budget planning portal that you and your partner can use to easily budget your money, set goals, and track your progress. We are happy to help you set up an account, simply email us with your name and mobile number to us to get started. 

Other money tools to explore:

• 401k Optimizer with TreeceFi
• Budget Like A Boss with The MoneyMaestra
• AARP Money Map
• Nerdwallet’s 8 Best Budget Apps for 2023

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RELATED RESOURCES:

TreeceTalk Webinar: Budget Your Way to Financial Freedom (with special guest Susan Howell, The MoneyMaestra)

Don’t Let Past Financial Decisions Dictate Your Future

Buy or Rent? The Best Answer May Not Be What You Think

#FemaleFinance: The Importance of Savings

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Photo by cottonbro studio